Saturday, November 26, 2011


Yesterday I just finished reading one shocking-brutal-sad-nokharom book entitled Scarred. Scarred yang bermakna Parut/ Terkesan selamanya/ Never healed wound/ whatever it is.

Buku ini, aku beli sewaktu event Big Bad Wolf pada satu masa dulu. Actually I am a person who is more interested in reading true story events rather than fictional stories. So, as I browsed through the biography book I saw this plain but soft cover of a book.

So, what's the big deal with this book?

It's the story life of a young fragile girl named Sophie Andrews who was constantly abused (sexually) by her father and her struggle to regain normal life through treatment at psychiatric hospital. Lastly, the challenges that await her when she was finally released to the outer world.

Honestly, buku ini sangat menyedarkan diri ini akan betapa gilanya human can be. Seorang ayah (ayah angkat) sanggup membesarkan anak dengan penuh kasih sayang (makanan, coklat, hadiah, game, toys, dresses) tetapi bila makin besar ayah tu sanggup cabul dan pergunakan dia untuk seks. Before, I used to get mad and labelled at all those emo group yang suka toreh tangan tu sebagai bodoh, tapi not anymore. In this book, Sophie had numerous times keep repeating on cutting and bleeding herself just to let the pressure and mind problems flow away.

Seriously, how could you feel better and less pressure by cutting and bleeding your legs, arms and stomach? Tak lojik kan? Tapi itulah kenyataannya.

Buku ini juga menceritakan tentang betapa pentingnya support from the society. In Sophie's case, she was extremely lucky to have a willing social community called Samaritan to listen to her problems whenever she felt like suicide, or at least, cutting herself. Without Samaritan, this book will never be published.

Story nya panjang. Dari zaman Sophie kecil, sampai ke usia 11 tahun. Then ayah dia mula cabul/ seks dengan dia. 16 tahun kena hantar masuk wad gila, kemudian keluar masuk wad, cubaan bunuh diri, kemudian kena cabul lagi dengan ayah dia (all caused by her blind faith to her father), and lastly menghadapi dunia luar. Jujur cakap, buku ini kalau dibaca akan membuatkan dahi anda berkerut dan stressssssssss!!!

You have to read this book. I strongly recommend you to do so. Lepas baca, you'll not look at those troubled girls as the same way before.

Sebagai penutup, I present you some excerpts from the book

Within a couple of weeks I had several blisters and cuts on my body. Dad saw them and I told him I'd hurt myself. I explained that it felt like a release, when things built up inside me.

Dad was fascinated. "You like hurting yourself do you?" he asked. I was puzzled by the excitement in his voice. But then he offered to help me, and I understood. He joined in, putting a cigarette out on me and saying, "Is that nice?"

That's why I blamed myself for so much that happened next. By hurting myself I was giving him permission to hurt me too- or that's how it seemed.

He had always liked blood, it excited him. He loved it when I had my period and always wanted sex then. But now he realised that he can make blood come whenever he wanted.

The first time he penetrated me with a knife I thought I would die. The fierce, burning pain was so bad that I prayed that I passed out, but I didn't. And as blood poured out of me Dad had sex with me, doubling the pain and damage being done to me.

Crazy, right?

To every girl struggling with their life out there, this is dedicated to you,


~**Raw Honey**~ said...

*kerut dahi * pray that people will gain their humanity back. things get worse when victims failed to get help,whether because they have no idea how to do so, or either they have no courageous to ask for help.

say- O said...

well, that's right. u have to read this book. u have to.

oh yes, this sophie reminds me of someone that we know, haha~

~**Raw Honey**~ said...

it remind me of her. wonder if the person that u were thinking is same with mine. *kerut dahi*

Nurul Ain said...

cerita yg sngt menakutkan.-___-

bukan nama sebenar said...

jauhkan buku ni dari aku...
it really putting me into shit.

say- O said...

yes i know.


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