Always

Some of the things that I had learnt in the past 2 months.

Socializing.
I admit that I am a bit immature in this part. I, should never- ever label every new girls/ boys that I met as same as my regular other friends. It was...childish to do so. Everyone of us is special and different. Yes they may shine the same aura as our other friends but that was the outer surface. Their style, their social life, their limits and habits are still yet unknown. How could I made easy assumptions?

Working life.
To be honest, I really feel out of depth in this part. They are in...different world and level. Their scope of conversation's topics are a bit off to me. Just, another level. Different mindset and thinking way maybe. Certainly I had not reached it yet. Mungkin sebab diorang semua dah ada family kot?

Love.
Nothing much. Just getting more confused than ever. Getting more (possibly) false hopes. Doesn't matter, cause I still believe in my brother's advice. Flirting? No. Who am I to flirt around?

Family
Yes this is good. I started to learn and understand deeper each of our role. Still have the feelings that I had not done enough, but still trying. Not to forget, the role of Qaisara Sofea. She really add something new to our family as wholly. Very cute little baby girl, just can't get enough of her. Yeay!

Sports
I am getting the love of basketball back in my heart again. Thanks to my friends at Taman Rimba, they really are nice people. Though I move heavily and extremely slow, at least I have something to look forward whenever evening come. Come on!!!

And for the conclusion...K-Pop is absolute plastic and fake. Enough said.

-Qaisara Sofea-




-End of story-

My Best Friend

(a sunny day, working freely)

When everything is wrong I'll come talk to you
You make things alright when I'm feeling blue

You are such a blessing and I wont be messing
With the one thing that brings light to all of my darkness

You're my best friend
and I love you, and I love you
Yes I do

There is no other one who can take your place
I feel happy inside when I see your face
I hope you believe me
Cause I speak sincerely
and I mean it when I tell you that I need you

You're my best friend
and I love you, and I love you
Yes I do

I'm here right beside you
I will never leave you
and I feel the pain you feel when you start crying

You're my best friend
and I love you, and I love you
Yes I do

You're my best friend
and I love you, and I love you
Yes I do
Yes I do...
Yes I do

-End of story-

Saya Rasa Saya

Saya rasa saya ni unik. Atau pelik. Atau aneh.

Sebabnya, saya seorang yang gilakan permainan game electronik tak kiralah ianya dari consoles mahupun pc dan arked sekalipun. Susah benar nak jumpa yang se-species dengan saya. Dalam UKM pun, ada lah sorang dua yang saya tahu minat gaming. Itupun tak setegar saya. Any recent PC games, you name it. Kemungkinan besar saya dah main. Hebat bukan?

Sebabnya, saya ada taste music yang rare kalau dibandingkan dengan orang lain. Orang lain kebanyakannya dengar radio, saya pula dengar Radio Gaga. Kawan- kawan saya dengar lagu- lagu Lady Gaga, Beyonce, Fall out boys, Stacy, Mila, Syahir. Saya? Kejadahnya dengan semua itu. Step in Queen, Marylin Manson, Blur, Suede, Weezer, Butterfingers, Def Gab C, Search. Oh lupa nak mention yang dari Timur pulak. X Japan, Luna Sea, Larc~en~ciel. Pernah dengar tak semua tu? Hahahahaha.

Bieber? Pergi mampus. K- Pop? HAHAHAHAHA.

Sebabnya, di kala semua orang sedang gilakan drama Melayu dengan fenomena 'gadis melayu ayu baik anggun innocent sweet', saya langsung tak terasa tertarik mahupun nak ambil tahu. Habis keluar tajuk perbincangan Nur Kasih dan Nora Elena bilamana ada gadis- gadis di sekeliling. Saya? One Piece anime. Usoppe!!

Sebabnya, lelaki lain yang sebaya semua hampir kesemuanya dah ada gf, saya masih lagi tiada. Oh tiada masalah sangat dari aspek itu. Tapi, selalu saja saya dengar keluhan mereka. Apa yang mampu? Pasang telinga dan ambil buat pedoman.

Sebabnya, orang lain semua pergi ke kelas dengan berpakaian kasual dan rileks. Saya? Tak sah kalau tak pakai kasut hitam 'keletuk- keletuk'. Kedatangan saya ke kelas diberi hint dengan bunyi dari jauh itu. Kepulangan? Juga sama.

Sebabnya, most of my friends are handphone addict. MOST OF THEM can't accept a RM100 handphone as their primary, let alone sole handphone. Mungkin malu kepada gadis- gadis dan jejaka- jejaka? Hmm, Tuhan saja yang tahu.

Sebabnya, orang kata kalau bila dah dekat dengan exam maka korbankanlah apa saja tetapi tidak bagi saya. Ada satu yang saya susah sangat nak korbankan- football. Esok pagi exam paper pukul 8.30. Malam ini Liverpool match pukul 12. Tak ada masalah!!! Lelaki mungkin mampu memahami, perempuan mungkin mukjizat jika memahami.

Jadi, saya rasa saya ini something different. Different positif atau negatif, bukan kuasa saya untuk jadi hakim. Tapi seronok juga, dan tak seronok juga kadang- kadang.

Biasalah, dunia itu bulat.

Religion and Video Games.

Korang semua ni peminat tegar Facebook kan? Hari2 online FB kan? Bagus!! Kalau macam tu kompem korang tahu yang baru2 ni ada artikel dari blog somebody yang isinya super duper menarik perhatian aku. Artikel dia bukan pasal Osama mati ke, teori konspirasi ke. Itu semua Blog Serius dah cover full.

Ini artikel pasal video2 game yang menghina Islam. Kononnya ada beberapa video game yang dikenalpasti ada guna certain decorations/designs/graphics yang menghina Islam. Persoalannya, betul ka?

Rewind balik masa first time isu ni jadi panas. Bagi aku panas gak ar, haha. First time isu ni kuar adalah dalam paper kesayangan Melayu kita- Metro. Ni catchline dia.

Stylo. First time aku baca memang berkerut dahi aku. Habis semua sel2 otak dan kudrat terpaksa dikerah untuk mengingat kembali. " eh ada ka pintu kaabah?", " kat mana ha kalimah Allah?", "12 pintu? 12 stage kot.."

Hahahahahaha. Ok let me make it clear. Aku ni gamer. Gamer paling tegar. Sejak aku berumur 4 tahun aku dah mula main game. Dari zaman game 16-bit sampai la ke next generation macam sekarang. So korang cakap lah game apapun, most probably aku pernah main. Paling tak pun maybe aku pernah dengar.

Jadi, disebabkan aku gamer tegar, maka korang boleh la expect yang aku akan bias, macam bakal defend game2 ni kan? Yes rite baby!!! Tapi aku tak defend lah cara membabi buta. Hm...bacalah!! Iqra'!!!

First sekali yang aku nak tegaskan di sini- reason aku main game. Kalau tanya budak kecik pun jawapan dia senang gila- sebab seronok. Kalau tanya budak besar sikit- sebab nak isi masa lapang. Kalau tanya aku pulak- sebab nak tambah pengetahuan, sebab nak control satu movie interaktif, sebab cantik, sebab nak belajar, sebab nak buka minda, sebab nak berhibur. Bagi korang yang bukan gamer, amat sukar untuk korang faham dan terima reason2 aku. Sesukar untuk orang biasa memahami kenapa mat2 pancing sanggup berjam2 tunggu kat tepi tasik semata2 nak tangkap ikan. Maybe lagi tepat, sebab inilah passion kami.

Berbalik pada topik asal. Penghinaan dalam game.

Ok soalan pengetahuan am. Pernah dengar game Command and Conquer Generals? Yang gadis2 memang pakat dak ah jawapan. Yang laki2 ni. Mesti at least pernah dengar nama kan? Korang tau kan dalam game tu ada 3 sides kita boleh pilih iaitu USA-China- GLA? GLA tu yang menarik. GLA stands for Global Liberation Army. Erti kata lain, mereka adalah Al- Qaeda.

Player boleh main single player campaign bagi setiap side. USA China GLA semua ada campaign tersendiri. Betapa jahanamnya developer game tu, diorang buatkan GLA nampak sangat barbaric dan lekeh.Hahahahahaa. Weapon semua klasik. Untuk AA vehicle cuma tempek gattling gun kat lori ikan ja. Askar semua pakai serban. Standard weapon adalah AK-47. Special mass weapon diorang? Cuba teka.

Pandai. WMD. SCUD launcher babe. Antara infantry yang ada- angry mob, suicide bomber, RPG trooper. Bila infantry mati commander interface akan kata "our brothers have fallen." Tak deja-vu ke di situ? Suicide bomber tu ayat dia adalah- "I will die for our cause!!" Pekerja yang bina base- first upgrade adalah provide shoes!!! Even headquarters adalah masjid. Tengok betapa hinanya Islam diorang buat. Kan? Ke tidak?

My all time favourite gaming heavy weapon- SCUD Launcher

Then cuba pakai USA side. Teknologi diorang memang mind boggling punya level. Satellite, Particle Cannon, automatic missiles, stealth detectors, powerful air force, bla3~~ Nak lagi bengang? Tank Paladin, ayat dia bila kita tekan - "Protecting the people/ To serve and to protect." HAHAHHAHAHA.

Terasa ke?

Ada lagi. Stronghold Crusader. Game based on Crusade War. Kristian lawan Islam. Mula- mula aku main, aku bajet akan ada 2 sides singleplayer lah. Ceh harapan. Hanya ada campaign pihak Crusade je. Pastu overall campaign dia memang tunjukkan Crusaders ni baik-baik dan hati mulia. Celaka. Kalau nak pakai tentera Muslim pun boleh, tapi dalam skirmish je lah. Dan bila main, sila tahan perasaan amarah. Leader- leader Muslim semua muka kejam- kejam, nama pun culprit-culprit semuanya. Army dia jangan cakap ah, ada 2-3 unit yang memang sungguh dishonorable method cara serangan dia. Ada ka patut, hanya mampu bakar bangunan ngan menggunakan torches?

At times, it looks a bit messy

Tuan-tuan dan puan-puan, itu baru dua video game yang seingat aku ada unsur penghinaan yang jelas dan terang. Aku percaya banyak lagi yang ada unsur macam tu, cuma aku tak ingat mahupun terlepas pandang.

-nanti ada part 2, panjang sangat pulak-

Disheartening

You know, there are certain things that can keep disturbing you. though they are small matters, but the smaller the more kick you get rite?

To start with..

1) wake up early everyday only to rush later when there's only 15 minutes from 8 am. Morning rush.

2) you know her. everyday you meet her. and you sent friend request through Facebook. With pure innocent intention just to befriend with her. but days passes, no respond. and everyday you see in front of your eyes- she opens facebook. then she acts like nothing happen. understand what i mean/ think?

3) you work in a new and unfamiliar community. you enjoy it very much. however your colleagues are not so...'friendly.' you feel neglected, oftenly left behind. as if you are nothing. a ghost. that can be feel but impossible to touch. you try to communicate, but you can feel that they are not interested. answering for the sake of answering.

4) back-talking.back- stabbing. farkher. this one is typical malay girl characteristic. gossip girl. sesunggunhnya ia amat annoying bila ianya ditujukan pada diri anda walhal anda langsung tak menyakitkan hati mereka.

And the most annoying scenario-

When all 4 criteria happen to me. Recently.

But all is well. I'd gone through this before. No reasons why this will spell armageddon to me. Nothing shall stop me.

-End of story-

Sains Kimia 08/09 - 10/11 UKM

*Music background*

To all my coursemates,

First of all I would like to say congratulations to each and everyone of you for your soon-to-be gaduate of UKM in pure chemistry. It is an honourable and rewarding title for all the hardships and struggle that all of you had endured in these past 3 years. No one has the rights to deny it. Congratulations.

Looking back to the past 3 years we'd been together, I must say that I enjoyed and treasured all the time we spent together. Be it in the lecture halls, in small classes, at cafes, at the restaurants or even in Facebook world all those moments are precious for me. There are roughly 60 plus pupil in our batch and I believed that now I knew at least each and everyone of your face and a bit of your characters. Honestly, It was not an easy feat considering my nature of 'budak jahat' here.

It truly was a great life experience. I still remember the day when I had decided to pick Chemistry as my major and by His willing I got it, at UKM. It was like a truly blessed reward. I picked it as the first choice and indeed it happened.

Fast forward to the first week in the first year.

Those days, everyone was brimming with excitement and anxiety. The first impression- UKM was truly big and so do FST. Getting lost in finding classes and lecture halls were common problems for us. Hahaha... and not to forget one Physical Chemistry class at 129BB. We were a bit early so we had to wait at the corridor. That 10 minutes of waiting was my first analyse of my coursemates. Everyone looked innocent, girls with books and files at their hands. Hahaha..even I mistaken Zaff as a 'kekwat' guy at that time. Well, first impressions never do justice.

And so time flies, slowly and swiftly. From a bunch of junior we upgraded to senior. From the innocent faces we showed bored/ tired faces (not everyone, pardon me). We changed. Some of us became more focused and determined, some became more enjoying and relax. But whatever we did, we were happy with it.

In truth, I did enjoyed and relax. It might be too much but that was what happened. Slowly I realized that I became a burden to some of my friends. I didn't ask for money, but academic matters. Assignments, notes, attendances, anything. Unconsciously it became a bad habit. Yes I did tried to change but impossible it was to change radically and fully. The habit was there.

With that I would like to apologize to all my friends that I had burdened you with me asking for your assignments, lab reports, lecture notes, signing attendances and so on. I really feel sorry if you feel hard done by me. You might said yes on that time but deep inside only you know it. So again, I am sorry.

At classes I was the regular late-comer that enter through the back door. Sitting in the back seat means I couldn't really knew those who were at the front. Less communication and less interaction bred unfamiliarity with them. Inversely, I became more common and close with those at the back. When you were at the back you tend to do things that supposedly safe. So I did all those things- sleeping, eating, talking, sms-ing, stalking, dreaming, anything. Again, I apologize if my activities did affect your concentration.

Talk about friends. I had made lots of friends amongst us. I don't know why but it seems like I am quite easy in getting into groups and starting conversations. I believe I don't have enemies too amongst us. Friends really made my day. They are one of the reasons why I went to class, why I feel spirited and challenged too. They compliment me.

Honestly I am closer to male friends than female. Such nature is normal right? Well, to name some of my friends..

Pak An. Aku mula kenal ko entah bila pun tak tau. Muka ketat gila macam aku jugak kot. Kalau tanya apa2 pun jawab sepatah dua ja. Hahaha, makin lama makin kenal, oklah. Jenis mengarut jugak ni.

Hariz. 1st year dan 2nd year aku tak kenal sangat ko. Tak rapat pun. Masuk 3rd year baru mula interaksi. Mungkin sebab komputer kot? Hahahaha...tak kedekut apa2 pun, kalau aku mintak mesti bagi punya. And kaki bola yang serius.

Eg. Mula kenal masa 2nd year. Nampak serius dan fokus dalam study. Masuk 3rd year selalu study skali. Baik hati, selalu juga tolong aku. Plus ko nampak macam kaya sket, selalu tukar2 henpon.

Din. Ini misteri. Result gempak tapi dalam kelas bila diajak merapu memang on!! Selalu layan lawak ngarut aku, dan selalunya dia yang mulakan dulu jugak. Sirius respek, result gempak tapi tak memilih kawan. Sanggup jadi kawan aku.

Zaff. Awalnya aku nampak macam kekwat, then bila kenal ko baru tahu ko ni super baik. Mungkin aku culture shock kot awal2 dulu. Selalu study sama2 dulu, selalu gila tolong aku dan bagi moral support.

Sopi. Paling gila2 dalam batch. Mula2 nampak macam susah nak sembang sebab macam tak tau apa ko fikir, haha. Then lama2 memang boleh cop dah. Ko ni senang sekali untuk melawak bersama. Tak lokek jugak dalam menolong.

Poh. Paling cool dalam kelas. Suka buat benda yang rare tapi dia tak kisah langsung. Sebenarnya ramai orang takut ngan Poh. Tapi sebenarnya Poh ni straight forward orangnya dan baik. Respek sama kamu.

Dan kesemua kawan2 perempuan..Geng Amin (Nabil n co), geng Kris Mas (Ayu n co. dan Amirah n co.), Wahida, Anim n co, geng Zakba Dja n co, Gamelan sisters Paan dan Aini, geng ustazah Mariam n co, Cik Kina, Wani, Ilie,Tata, Veno,Priya, Sue n co, dan kesemuanya. Sayang sekali kawan2 Chinese tak sempat nak rapat, bila hujung2 ni tapi dah terlambat sket.

About our activities together, yes I really enjoyed spending time with you. All those activies- Sukaneka, Hari Keluarga Kelab Kimia, Lawatan ke Forensik Ofis, Hari Keluarga Pusat Kimia, Berbuka Puasa di Nims 2 kali, BBQ kat PD...those are nice memories to hold on.

To all my friends, I want to apologize if I was too loud/annoying/childish. Maybe it was my nature self, talking and joking and being loud. Maybe that's the reason why some of you enjoyed my story telling session. I don't know.

For the next 2 semesters I will surely miss all of you. There will be no more friends to help signing attendances, borrow assignments and study group together. Most importantly, there will be no friends to hang out, talk, jokes, laugh and eat together. I had seen the seniors who extended and how they fared in classes. It was disheartening. Came alone, sit alone, stay quiet and return alone. Struggle when in need of group assignment. And those looks from juniors..understandable.

Whatever happens I will face it strong. It is coming and it will not change no matter how badly I complain. It is my causes and consequences.

Ah...I think this has gone too long. I need to stop here. Hopefully, we all will achieve our dreams just like what Prof Yang repeatedly said. Your journey here is nearly finished but mine is still far from it. Anything, I hope we will never forget that we are friends and may God bless us all.

Farewell, my friends. Thanks and till we meet again.

-End of story-

Minat Sungguh

Sekali lagi, meminjam kata2 keramat orang tua2,

" Tak kenal maka tak cinta."

Ok, macam kurang kena. Twist sket bagi compatible dengan meaning nak disampaikan.

" Tak cuba maka tak tahu"

Ha kalau macam ni, rasanya lagi sesuai. Sesuai sungguh dengan my new interest. DrumMania V6.

Yes same with the one in the Mines, bar the chair

Sebenarnya, jujurnya, I am deeply addicted to this machine. Mungkin kalau siapa yang kenal aku tahulah aku ni insan yang gilakan video games tetapi!!! Inilah game arked yang bagi kepuasan tahap tertinggi pada aku. Jauh lagi tinggi dari main dan menang Tekken 6. Tak lupa juga inilah game yang memberi pendedahan ilmu pada aku.

Drumming.

Nanti dulu. Korang mesti rasa aku ni berangan nak jadi drummer kan? Ya aku memang berangan pun tapi taklah nak jadi Yoshiki Hayashi ataupun Lars Ulrich ke. Cuma berangan nak mampu main lagu full dengan full drum score. Lagu yang simple pun jadilah. Hahaha, memang itu angan2 aku bila main game ini. Tapi,

Kalau dah beginner tu, memang buat cara beginner lah.

Hari pertama main benda ini, ah dah tak ingat bila. Tapi ada Hazal, Arip dan Ijan. Ramai2 pakat test. Amik level easy je, tapi semua failed. Hahahahhahaha~ Lojiklah, dah memang beginner. Seumur hidup tak pernah ketuk drum. Masing2 main gelak2 je, sambil penonton2 kat belakang usya je..haha.

Ok lah, sedikit introduction untuk DrumMania V6.

Seumur hidup aku hanya jumpa kat Mines sahaja. Kalau ada di mana2 tempat lain, sila maklumkan pada saya. Kalau ada di sekitar Alor Setar, aku bakal menjadi pemuda paling bahagia. Seterusnya, kalau nak main perlu 2 token which cost RM1. Murah je. Sangat berbaloi untuk main. Kenapa?

Sebab, sekali main boleh pilih 1 dari 3 stages. Easy (3 songs), Standard(3 songs) and Battle (4 songs). Yang Easy dan Standard kesemua lagu kita pilih sendiri tapi yang battle hanya 2 lagu yang kita pilih. Lagi 2 si Challenger (comp) yang pilih. Lagi satu, bila nak main kita boleh customize level drum dia. Paling senang- Basic. Then Advance and followed by Extreme. Extreme tu yang full drum punya gameplay, takde skip2 ketukan. Selain tu boleh juga nak customizekan speed, auto bass dan macam2 lagi lah.

Wow penat explain. Next!! Lagu2 yang ada pulak.

Aku tak tahu ada berapa banyak lagu totally dalam mesin ni. Hundreds kot. Tapi majoriti adalah lagu Jepun (made in Japan kan). So kepada sesiapa yang layan drama Jepun atau anime ataupun memang minat J-rock maka dia akan familiar dengan lagu2 yang ada.

Amongst my favourites are..

1) Greeeen- Kiseki
Peminat2 Rookies kalau tak tahu lagu ni should go to hell. For now this is the best song to play. Simple yet entertaining.




2) Nightmare- Lost in Blue
Terselect secara tak sengaja, dan terus jadi favourite song. Best lagu ni.




3) Hemi Yu- Water frame
Main cuba2 je, dan lucky. Memang best. Level Easy pun dah agak nonstop beat dia.

And followed by many other great songs. Now comes the hard part. If you are a new/ beginner in drumming (just like myself) then you need a real thick face to start. Honestly, whenever somebody played this game then everyone who walked by will stop and watch silently. Serious pressure. Tambah2 pulak time awal2 baru nak belajar main. More pressure when the other players are real drummer. Shite. Rasa macam mau balik je.

Namun, jangan kata game ni bazir duit nak mampus. Bagi aku, salah pandangan itu. Inilah game yang paling murah main dan paling lama (rm 1 untuk 3 lagu yang total up 8 minit). Selain itu, ini adalah game yang bukan direct battle dengan opponent. Meaning, takkan ada rasa bengang sebab kalah. Perkara ini selalu terjadi bila anda main Tekken 6 ye. And lastly, game ini ajar korang main drum. Ingat senang ke nak ada peluang ketuk2 drum?

Natijahnya, inilah ketagihan aku yang terbaru. Bye2 Tekken, bye2 Percussion Mania. Ini lah punca aku makin teringin nak ke Mines. Ini jugalah punca aku makin respek dan kagum dengan semua drummer di dunia ini.

Sebab susah sebenarnya nak main drum ni. Tak percaya pergilah cuba.