Betrayal (a backstabber)

Hidup ini indah. Punya pelbagai warna. Punya pelbagai manusia. Punya pelbagai alam.

Manusia itu unik. Terdiri dari jutaan sel yang membentuk jasad yang kompleks komplikasinya. Nyawanya pula ditiupkan roh kepada jasad. Maka lengkaplah satu insan manusia, sedia dan mantap untup hidup di muka bumi ini.

Namun tidak semua keunikan manusia ini membuatkan ia menjadi satu makhluk yang sempurna. Ya benar memang manusia itu hampir sempurna jika dilihat secara mudah. Tetapi manusia ada macam- macam kelemahan. Salah satu kelemahannya-

Hatinya.

Di situ bermulanya pelbagai perasaan. Biarpun otak yang memproses segala rasa/deria, namun bila dizahirkan- hati juga tempat yang terasa.

Sebab itu ada pelbagai simpulan bahasa yang berkaitan hati. Baik hati, sakit hati, makan hati.

Busuk hati.

Busuk hati boleh jadi dari pelbagai perkara dan punca. Orangnya pula memang berperangai dan berkelakuan yang mengarah pada hati busuk. Namun demikian, terdapat satu daripada pelbagai punca yang boleh mengarah pada busuk hati ini. Tak lain dan tak bukan- tikam belakang a.k.a backstabber.

Kadang-kadang yang berkelakuan backstabber ini tidak sedar akan apa yang dibuatnya. Kadang- kadang bukannya niat dia mahu menikam belakang orang. Kadang-kadang dia hanya mahu bercerita untuk mendapat pendapat orang lain selain meringankan beban di dada mungkin.

Tetapi selalu yang dia tidak sedar bahawa kelakuannya itu akan memakan diri orang lain. Akan memberi impak maksima kepada orang lain. Akan membuatkan orang lain itu mengalami heart break tahap tertinggi. Mengapa?

Kerana orang itu percaya pada si pelaku tadi. Kepercayaan diberi. Kepercayaan membawa kepada persahabatan. Kepercayaan membawa kepada perkongsian. Biarpun perkara yang dikongsi itu penuh kontroversi dan provokasi mungkin, tetapi orang itu tetap berkongsikannya.

Mengapa? Sebab dia percaya.

Tetapi apabila dirinya diketahui ditikam dari belakang, apa yang boleh orang itu buat?

Hendak dirawat-sukar. Tak tercapai tangan ke arah belakang. Hendak disembunyikan- mustahil. Semua orang nampak akan pisau yang tercucuk dan darah yang meleleh di tempat yang ditikam.

Dia hanya mampu biarkan pisau dan luka itu kekal. Sebagai trofi, sebagai peringatan.

Sebagai objek amarah.

What Is Your Deepest Fear?

Human are a great and complex creation by the God. It is accepted that we are His creation's that has the best ability in thinking. The brightest amongst all the creations. The chosen one.

The khalifah.

However, with great abilities comes along great responsibilities. With responsibilities, challenges and tests do drag along. Slowly, this one particular fear came.

Fear of failure.

Yes, that is the deepest fear. A fear of failure. Failure of anything that we pursue but to no avail. Without a hint, when the doubts breed inside our mind, then it's just a matter of time before we were pulled deeper into darkness.

It's like a virus.

Luckily, for every virus there's a method of neutralization. Or perhaps, prevention. To avoid failure, predict the failure. Once you've predicted, you'll absolutely recognize your potential future failure points and you can rectify them earlier hence avoiding them from happening.

Well, there's one big flaw. What if...the person fail to predict? He is too occupied with unimportant things? Or he is in too much comfort zone?

If that is the situation, honestly and humbly I request your opinion.

What will you do to him?


s

Am I Good?

Sometimes I do wonder. Am I good? I mean, am I dependable?

I know this is kind of silly to ask, but i don't mind at all. Cause this had been hunting my thought, my consciousness since.. since when? God knows it. Seriously, to be frank,

The answer..I fell like no. No I'm no good. I'm no great. I am not born to be great. I feel I'm average. I'm normal. No special skills, no special abilities, no special charisma, no nothing.

Hahahaha, yes I know that practically sound extra negative, like a sheer loser minded people. Like a preacher predicting and spreading the news of armageddon , " Behold my fellow brothers!! There's nothing more to pursue except for the forgiveness and protection from God as the end is near!! Repent!!" Nothing more to achieve, just accept and pray.

To heaven with it.

Okay, lets review this. Many of my friends say (and believe, I believe) that I'm great in speaking English. They willingly say "ah ko takpe ah cakap BI kencang,"....."hang boleh cakap BI, hang pi depan ah!"....."teacher, dia dapat band 5!!".....

Now, for me I had always thought that- eh ramai lagi yang lagi kencang..budak cina tu lagi hebat...-aku hebat? hebat apanya, sampai depan gagap serupa hang jugak...

Many people said that I am a powerful and capable leader, but I see flaws and trouble during my leadership. Sometimes I tried too hard and things went crazy. Sometimes I let things flow, but they didn't happen like they are meant to be.

Maybe, that's why in Silent Hill Homecoming there's a quote by the main character.

"People tend to believe what they want to believe"


Silent Hill's Pyramid Head: come to papa....

Subsequentlly, that means we have to think, imagine and believe what we want to be and see. With that, those things will surely arrive, or created, or happens, or just be there for us? Wohohow, sounds too easy and unrealistic to happen, nonetheless it happens. Just like this kind of theory.

Hm... seems like there's no direct answer to the main question. Am I good, am I great? Or at least considered as? Oh yeah, almost forgot to say,

I consider, believe and self- acclaimed that I am great in PES 2011!!!!

Of that I'm sure. Anyone to object? You're pleased to do so =)

Kisah Kucing

Satu malam yang lalu, aku sedang khusyuk menembak samseng jalanan dalam Fallout New Vegas.Hujan turun dengan renyai2, suasana sunyi. Tak ramai manusia yang berada di persekitaran. Tingkap bilik aku biarkan terbuka, untuk menikmati udara malam.

Tiba2, aku ternampak lembaga hitam melompat masuk melalui celah tingkap bilik! Jantung berhenti sekejap. Aku dah mula terbayangkan cerita2 hantu yang aku tengok dan baca sebelum ini. Celaka.

Dengan rasa curious, aku membongkok dan melihat di ruang belakang katil, iaitu tempat lembaga hitam tadi menyusup pergi.

Terasa hening sekali.

Rupa-rupanya hanyalah seekor kucing bersama anak kucing yang baru lahir mungkin, matanya masih tertutup rapat. Ceh. Jujur dengan sifat tidak sukakan binatang, aku lantas mengambil penyapu dan men-shooh! shooh! kucing itu. Tak bergerak. Aku pukul sikit. Tak bergerak. Damn.

Argh, biarkan je la. Aku sambung dengan game yang terhenti tadi. Kemudian dalam tak lama kemudian, kucing besar itu melompat keluar melalui tingkap dan entah kemana aku tak tahu. Peluang!!

Apa lagi, dengan pantas tutup tingkap dan langsir. Jangan nanti dia masuk lagi, buat perumahan kat cpu aku tak ke mampos? Selesai semua tu, aku teruskan bermain.

Dia datang lagi! Kali ini dengan kawan sekor lagi. Dan seekor anak kucing dibawa di mulut. Kawan dia tak habis2 berbunyi meow~~~meow~~~~ beserta dengan muka simpati tepat ke mata aku. Manakala yang membawa anak kucing tu berpusing2 sekitar bingkai tingkap bilik aku mencari ruang untuk masuk.

Aku melihat mata kucing kawan itu. Sayu. Penuh simpati. Aku lihat kucing yang menggonggong itu. Resah. Risau. Aku pergi lihat anak kucing yang awal tadi ditinggalkannya di belakang katil aku. Helpless.

Hujan masih turun.

Hm...

Sometimes It Just Happens

It was a damp afternoon. I was relaxing at my home while watching TV. There was nothing unusual except there's a girl sitting and watching TV alongside me. She is her. I know her.

And then we went to my room and put our bags at the proper place, nonetheless putting our stuffs. I changed my shirt around her without hesitating much, hahaha. She just smiled and we had a sweet conversation throughout the process.

I loved that short moment.

We had our bath, and had dinner together with my whole family- that included my father, mother, my big brothers (strangely none of my sisters-in-law was there)and my little brother. My God it was the best dinner in my life.. Nothing feels heavenly other than enjoying delicious mum's cooking with the whole family and specially having her beside me.

The night had gone late. My head was like a heavy rock and my eyelids can't hold much longer. Bedroom was likely my saviour. With mumbling words I informed her and she said she wanted to help my mum with some chores so she'll be late. Ah, that's ok. I made my way to the bed and boom-

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That happened again.

This time that really occurred with no intention at all.

I dreamed of her again.

I did liked her before, but I know it was totally a wrong feeling to pursue more. She already had someone who firmly is special to her. To make it worst, I know both of them. She and that guy are my friends.

But still, this is the.. 3rd, or maybe.. 4th time she was in my dream.

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p/s: I wish them good luck and happiness.